Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
