I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
