i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
