I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
