I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
