You smell like stripper and shame
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just pee around me
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
