Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
