belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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