I feel like abortions should bother me more
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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