im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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