im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.