i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize