Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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