none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize