hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize