He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
