Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
