I wanna bring you to show and tell
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
