How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
