Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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