sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
