i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
