That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
