So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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