Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
