There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
