I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
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HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
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She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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