Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
