he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
