i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
