the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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