I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
