he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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