so explain again why im purple
no
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
