Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
