I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
