I didn't shave. On purpose
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I am mentally ready for anal.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
