HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
im holly from the hills drunk
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
