why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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