So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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