You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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