Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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