is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
