she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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