He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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