DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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