I'm lost and stupid without you.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize