Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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