You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
