If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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