woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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