I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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