Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
