if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
