we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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