Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
