like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
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