I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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