apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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