real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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