so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
