I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
