isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
