her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
