You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you had me at cake vodka
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
