Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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