I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
