break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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