Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
