He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
