If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
