I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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