Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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