Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
